nut hugger
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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