Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
