Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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