remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
