also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
