so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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