No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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