I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize