Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
