i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
