so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize