her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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