he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
