So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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