He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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