seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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