its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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