i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
