It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
