when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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