Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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