How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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