"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
