Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
