I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
