so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
