Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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