when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
