How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
