I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
