if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
