nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
