he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
