But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We had sex on a dog bed..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
