when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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