I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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