Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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