Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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