TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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