Barsexuality is the new black.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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