my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
