The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
