You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
