I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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