Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
