In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
