Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
