i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
