I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
