I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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