I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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