The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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