Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
