Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
