I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
