Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it glows. i had to have it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
