how can u be prego again
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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