No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
