My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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