it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
