he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
