Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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