he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
