I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
don't judge my taste in strippers
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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