It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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