we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
