just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Jerry, you need to find god
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And then he peed in my hair
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