Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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