margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
