Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
