sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize