I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
