found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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