i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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