My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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