Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
