We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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