last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
