Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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