Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
