Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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