when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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