That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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